Gefilte Fish!

In Judaism, we don't see the various movements as our kin, but rather as our foe. It's not like a problematic family member whom we love anyway, but instead we dismiss and even despise one another.

I had been attending an orthodox synagogue for awhile. I really enjoy the Rabbi's d'var Torah (thoughts about the weekly Torah portion), and his Torah class. However, there has always been an air of superiority, and he never asks me a question, but only the men. Okay, I could handle that. I decided to meet him in person with my husband.

We had a nice chat, but it became clear that to be an orthodox Jew meant accepting all of the practices, whether or not they're valid. I asked him exactly what the orthodox community would think about me having a career and my husband running our household. He said they would say we are crazy. We would not be accepted. That got me thinking.

All right, so my way of life is not orthodox, but I did not choose to be the kind of person I am. Neither did my husband. We try to be the best people we can be, but there is still a personality with which one is born. One can even see this in babies. So what if a person is homosexual?

No homosexual that I have ever met chose to be that way. No sports-challenged man chooses to be that way. No weight-lifting, tobacco-chewing woman chooses to be that way. We are what we are. I happen to be a leader by nature. I can't sit back and watch the world go by. I have to be a part of it.

I tried to be a homemaker. I absolutely hated it. Loathed it. Despised it. I wanted to be a homemaker. I would have been proud to have been a stay-at-home mom. I couldn't do it. It's not me. I think I knew that before I even got started.

So I went back to school to follow my passion - medicine. My husband would like to stay home, which is great. He would be an amazing father. So what is so wrong about doing what we are best able to do? In my eyes - nothing.

I spoke to my Rabbi about this - he is conservative and runs a completely egalitarian synagogue. He agrees, and even gave me permission to put tzit tzit (the fringes on one's garment that reminds a person to live a life of Torah) on any daughter(s) that we may have. I refuse to raise a daughter as a second-class citizen. Traditionally, only men wear these. He told me to get a tallit (prayer shawl) for myself. I left that meeting feeling inspired and able, as opposed to feeling guilty for not fitting the mold.

After much soul-searching I've come to realize that the greatest goals come from both Rabbis - above all be kind, and everyone should "do" Judaism if it's going to have any meaning for future generations. Dayenu.

What to do with myself? I have a few more months to live in this town (unless I get bumped to the class of 2013 - which could happen). I want to do some tutoring or hospital volunteer work. Is it wrong to do something like that so short term? It's not just for me that I want to volunteer, but also for the people with whom I would work.

My new job is going well. I have not breathed a word about medical school. There have also been some changes made that will hopefully improve things. Right now my work load is absolutely insane. It's making me a bit edgy too. I hate being that busy. I hate thinking about work when I'm home. Ach, hopefully things will lighten up soon.

About Conservation International - Not only did they respond to my question about the giant rat found in Indonesia, but here is what they actually said -

Thank you for submitting an inquiry to Conservation International. Your

interest is greatly appreciated!

I understand you are interested in CI's expedition to the Foja Mountains

in Indonesia, specifically the species found there. For this 2007

expedition CI neither collected nor harmed any animals. However, the

Bogor museum scientist who traveled with us did collect and preserve

specimens of mammals that are new to science, in order to describe these

new species for the museum.

CI's policy regarding collecting specimens of species is to always be

respectful of the wishes of local communities when on expeditions, as

well as considering the health of the ecosystem. For example, in the

2004 marine survey of New Caledonia's coral reefs, no collections were

made, in keeping with local tribes' wishes.

If you would like more information about CI's policies or about any

particular expedition please feel free to reply to this message or write

to community@conservation.org. I'd be happy to send any specific

questions you have to the scientists who were in the field. Thank you

again for your interest is Conservation International and your concern

for the environment!

Cheers,

Lindsay Walter-Cox

Online Promotion Coordinator

Conservation International

A bit of rare honesty. I need to write them back and thank them. I'm glad they left it alone. I wish research groups would do that more often.

And still my house sits on the market. I think today will be another double post day. I have other thoughts tumbling through my head.