A New Beginning

One week in, and so far, it's wonderful. Having gone to an utterly mediocre undergraduate institution with a great chemistry program, I certainly can appreciate my awesome professors at med-school. Though I've only been here a week, I can see that I am truly fortunate to be going to such a great school. The professors are organized, intelligent, professionally dressed, and utterly devoted to our success. The school as a whole is extremely well organized.

I'm unprepared for the future. So far, biochemistry has been a review. I am feeling confident and competent. That will change in the next few days as I begin anatomy, cytology, and histology.

The real "arrival" moment was meeting our cadavers. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. I think anatomy is absolutely fascinating, and now I'll have the chance to really see it and study it. I'm sure that will also involve a lot of cursing and crying - I'm not that jaded. I've written a poem for my cadaver. It's not brilliant, but I felt it, and I meant it, so here it is -

A Grandmotherly expression
chubby - with happy smile-lines
I can imagine you
baking a pie
You have intelligent eyes
I can see that
though they are closed
You are short and possibly Asian
You have large breasts
I wonder who loved them
You look loved
-nice skin, pretty silver hair
And here you are
giving everything that's left
of your physical self
to me
I will remember that
and I will love you

At this point in my extremely nascent medical career I am very happy and content. I love learning new things. I love complexity, and I have this amazingly supportive extended family (classmates) with whom to share this journey. I hope this feeling can be kept when things get tough.

So This is It?

And so it begins - my adventure, my new life. It's terrifying. I'm one of those people who tries to control everything. I'd realign the stars if I could - I'd make them all equidistant, but I'd vary the brightness to keep it interesting.

To future physicians - just when you think you have it all together, you find out you're wrong. In order to have any fun at all, one has to let a few things slip. For example, I could have my book bag packed, my loans secured, my orientation papers laminated. . .but instead I've read books, had some coffee, basked in the shower. Life is good. Oh yeah, and played on Pandora. It's so wonderful. I'm not suffering with my new Bose ear-buds, either. Back to the poor medical student -

So one must plan their move, and in my case find a house manager and rent the house I own in Ohio, get a new bank account, secure loans, do the mandatory loan counseling thing online, defer the loans that one can, change one's address and have bills/catalogues forwarded, get school supplies, get a new license, register the car in a new state, check with school and make sure one's immunizations are taken care of, get the vaccines/titers/skin tests needed, send proof of health insurance to one's school. . .and these are just the things that pop immediately into my head. Yes, I'm keeping lists. It's hard to be organized when your life is in boxes in the middle of the living room floor!

I now understand a teeny bit about making time. I've hardly done anything with my husband this week, and it was supposed to be the "crazy-go-nuts" final hurrah. Sorry, babe. What are you doing tonight?

You know, I used to be the kind that freaked out about, well, everything. One overdraft was the end of the world. I'm getting better. My account was viciously overdrawn, because the teller put a big check into the wrong account. My student loan was delinquent, because I misunderstood my deferment. I didn't freak out! I called the bank and poof - all better. I called my loan people, couldn't understand the guy from India, was transferred to the US, and poof - problem solved. Oh yeah, I have to call my former health insurance people - they don't want to acknowledge my dental plan. I should go take care of that.

I elected this life. I think it will be good for me, though it will probably be the death of me. You know what - I'm going to make some bread later today. I think it is time to introduce my new kitchen to my challah.