I am notorious for writing blogs with loose ends and incongruent paragraphs. I decided that it would be best if I wrote two in one day to keep the randomnity at bay.
This past weekend I attended an Orthodox synagogue. The woman who sold me my "medical school interviews" suit recommended that I try the one in my town. I told her I was too much of a feminist for something like that. She pushed the issue - I caved - I went.
I was prepared to hate it. I thought the women, in their section, would be chatting about the latest episode of "Survivor" (especially since Orthodox Jews aren't supposed to own televisions) or something equally mindless, and that they would not be paying any attention, or be able to read Hebrew. I was so wrong - about everything. They were very intelligent. There was no idle chatter, except for the usual "Hello, how is your mother?" type of stuff. They followed the Hebrew very well, and some women, stood and recited Kaddish when it was time (strictly not okay). I hang my head in shame for my assumptions.
All right, but what about all of the negatives. Just delve into it a little bit, and it's quite clear what the very orthodox men think. Read the bible - it's in there. We are unclean, we are frivolous and foolish. We are very much expendable, with regard to our bodies, unless we're the sister or daughter of someone important. Men count towards a minyan, women do not. Something about not having to complete "time" commandments, because we are too busy having babies. However, for those who have stay-at-home husbands, and work to support their families - well, tradition holds - no tallit for you! Why?
However, I've seen egalitarian synagogues, and for the most part, I am not only unimpressed, but angry. It doesn't work. The families are weak, and the traditions even weaker. We tried to make improvements, and instead we cheapened the whole thing. It didn't have to be that way. It shouldn't be that way. Could I raise a daughter in the Orthodox tradition? I don't know - how would I answer her questions? Mommy likes that the people here are actually doing Judaism, so we come to this synagogue. Mommy likes that these women are strong and intelligent. Mommy doesn't like that the egalitarian women expend the majority of their brain power on shopping and magazines.
I have no idea what to make of this. Until then, I will sit on the right side and listen to the men.
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3 comments:
One of my good friends is an Orthodox Jew who lives in Israel. She is awesome. Her husband is really neat, too. Women are treated with great respect in Jewish tradition. Men and women are just different. A happy home glorifies the woman and it is her influence. (I had a rabbi tell me this. Mike Skobac of Jews for Judaism, and recently a lady rabbi.) You are basing what you think is good on what WESTERN civilization teaches us is good.
I'm an Orthodox Christian. I have started covering my hair which is unusual but I feel called to doing it. Women are also uplifted in Orthodox Christianity-- no, we can't serve Communion, but we have other responsibilities.
Where women serve, men tend to take a back seat. Guys are like dawgs-- or, my dawg. If the cats want something, he lets them have it and goes and does something else like licking his whatever, eating or sleeping. I think G-d, wanted it this way, or we'd still be living in sand castles! "Men, lead! Get out in front!" I have four boys-- I know this!
I do a lot of canning and freezing of food each summer. My husband does not. I do not trust him to follow all the steps. Our survival is different now, but in the old days, he'd kill the meat and I'd have been smoking it. My husband could kill us with botulism: "We didn't have any salt and rather than run to the store, I thought we have enough salt in our food anyway." No-- he'd not do that, but he's skip steps!
I just wrote a long treatise to my mother about dating a Jewish guy. She is 70 and no one can keep up with her. I told her, "These people start educating their kids at three in Israel and they just don't stop!" She said she isn't Jewish and I told her that I will probably convert in this lifetime and it is passed through the female side-- she laughed. OK, I was a little odd on that!
Do look into it, but remove your Western glasses. Orthodox Jewish women are smart cookies. They know what you are thinking, but they stay because when it comes right down to it, they know they are not subservient to anyone and kiss no one's backside.
Oh-- one of my cool doctors is a conservative Jew. It wasn't possible to be an Orthodox Jew in our northernly state an be on call all the time and not be able to drive on Saturdays!
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