I had the most amazing experience of my life about a week ago. I finally found a pediatric neurosurgeon that would allow me to watch some surgeries. Not the friendliest guy, but who cares? I saw a brain tumor removal.
The tumor was located just behind and near the top of the brain stem, underneath the cerebellum. He went in above C-1, cut the membrane around the cerebellum, dissected the two hemispheres, had to change course, because the 12th cranial nerve was showing some problems, went a little higher, and finally he was in, and I could see it! It did look different! It looked almost like a sickly, sack-like, blood clot. It was the consistency of overcooked custard, with a tough membrane. Unfortunately it also had characteristics of glioma and astrocytoma - which doesn't bode well for this little one.
I have never loved something this much in my entire life. I didn't move for eight hours. My whole body ached when I left the OR that day. I always thought that I liked ortho or general, but nothing has piqued my interest like that. I also liked not dealing with tons of tendons and ligaments - which frankly, can be tedious.
I also noted the personality. There are certain types of people in surgery. There are certain types in specialities that are miserable - for example, the "save the world," cry at songs on the radio types, don't tend to do well in pediatric oncology. Or even worse - social work. I felt more like the neurosurgeon than any other specialists I've seen thus far.
So I wait - I guess now I know I have to do this. Somehow I'll figure out a way. My mother always said I was stubborn.
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3 comments:
Wow. Anne, this is really becoming to you. You have found your path-- now you have to find someone willing to excourt you to where you need to go! That picture is amazing. My dad died 14 months ago of neuro myeloma and I have wondered what it looked like.
The save the world types are actually the biggest wastes of space you will ever find. I left social work in disgust. They want to be magnanimous, call themselves sensitive, complain that they are taken advantage of-- they spend 4 years or more in college complaining about how little they will earn, get into "the field" and go back to college for social work club talks and complain about how little they earn while racking on the pounds.
Doctors-- would you say that you have a "gitter done" personality? Yeah, doctors make a lot of money, but you take the hard classes, don't whine about math anxiety and solve the problems you can. I like that.
I'm not sure I'm patient enough to be a neurosurgeon; but it is indeed a remarkable profession, especially for those that choose to do brain surgery, as opposed to the peripheral stuff, like backs.
I don't know if you read my book, but here's what I said, in part, about my neurosurgery rotation, which is not intended to deter you. In fact, the next few paragraphs were quite laudatory...
"Esoteric and tedious, neurosurgery impressed but didn’t attractme. Charlie Wilson, however, amazed me. Chairman of the department, he radiated enough energy to power the place had the lights gone out. A marathon runner before it became widespread, he spent the rest of his time at the hospital, all hours, day and night. He was a superb operator, tackling brain tumors others refused, getting results far better than expected. He looked you right in the eye, drilling the truth in deep, exuding understated confidence. Patients came from all over the world, handing him their brains.
One of the neurosurgeons looked like an alien, come to Earth to help us, if allowed to breathe methane. He did all his cases with a self-designed, fully enclosed mask, dangling two exhaust hoses over his shoulders and down his back. As he meticulously attended to bleeding, one corpuscle at a time, his operations took hours longer than anyone else’s. But they said he’d never had a
post-op hematoma (blood collection), never an infection. Of course not: any bacterium that wandered into the wound would have died of boredom or starved to death."
Dr. Schwab - yes I did read your book. I remember that part. At the very least, surgery is where I feel the most at home. We shall see.
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