Music School and Sex

People often ask me about the children that I don't have. "So, if you have children, would you have them play an instrument?" Tough question. If we did choose to pullulate, would I want my child to potentially end up in music school? No, and no.

Ever read Mozart in the Jungle? Unfortunately it's very accurate. It's about a rising young musician in music school. She talks about all the drugs, drinking, and strange sexual happenings. Now, to the outsider this sounds like heaven. It's not. You see, eventually we all grew up, and took our baggage with us. Professional musicians never seem to be able to cut the ties though. I can't think of any really world famous performers that don't abuse at least one of the the three biggies.

Thankfully, I managed to stay away from two of the three vices - mostly. It's extremely difficult to be moral in an environment that is supposed to encourage passion. When one is in the situation of proving themselves to be an artist, emotions get very messed-up.

In chemistry, I've been told, once you're in the professional realm, you prove your worth. Nobody cares if you're a hack, you just keep on doing what you're doing and nobody takes you seriously. This is similar to music, and it can be devastating. In chemistry you keep plugging away until you come up with something you can do. In music you either have enough talent and artistry or you don't.

I chose to leave the profession when I realized that the dishonesty and the very unhealthy lifestyle were part of the job description. I could sleep my way to the top. I could drink a lot, sell my soul, and take every gig that came my way. I could get a PhD to prove that I'm worthy of teaching a new batch of eager young students - only to get one or two in my lifetime that would ever "make it." It is a very depressing field. I had to get out.

Part of this emotional immaturity is the nature of art. Musicians are responsible for creating emotions. Their function is to move people. My teacher used to say, "It doesn't matter that your wife just walked-out on you. You still have a concerto to perform." It's so true. Awful things can happen, but the performance goes on. This is absolutely suffocating. The musician learns to not nurture themselves. Eventually this turns into reckless child-like behavior, and the longer one is in the profession, the worse it gets. The reason is this - just like a small child - musicians are crying out for attention, and they get it by doing everything imaginable.

The solution - music schools have a responsibility to turn down the ones who aren't going to make it. However, the programs would be tiny. I don't know how to counteract that. I know they have to make a profit, but they are doing it at a huge cost.