Why Would you Want to. . .

I volunteer at an animal shelter for a few reasons, some of which are purely selfish. For one thing, I really care about the animals, and I try to give them my best, but I also understand that not every creature can be saved, and death is okay. I also climbed aboard because I want to be a surgeon, and I need a stronger stomach for nasty odors. This should do the trick nicely. I had no idea something so small and cute could smell so bad. There's the background - here's the story. . .

I went in on Sunday to do my normal rounds with the cats. I was merrily cleaning along, giving lots of love and making the cages as bright and happy a place as possible. I firmly believe a happy cat is a cat with something to cuddle and something with which to play. I get to my next cat - a pretty little petite orange tabby. Her cage says she's on medication, so I know to be gentle and patient. I reach in and lift her down, and realize she's peeing all over me!

My pants and shirt and shoes were all wet. It was already hot and humid there, but this was just gross. I was fine with it, because I know that nothing like that is ever deliberate, but it was a sanitation problem.

Then I notice my little one is bleeding - a lot. I couldn't tell from where, but somewhere in her nether regions. I ran to get the medical person (not a vet, but involved in medicine). In the meantime I went back upstairs to see if I could do anything. I noticed the blood was not very red, but pinkish.

I saw something that looked like raw flesh under her tail, and noticed she was cleaning frantically. Then I saw it - her very tiny fetus - she had miscarried. I should have known right away, since the fluids didn't smell like cat urine. I left her alone for a minute, and then gently picked her up and held her. I put her back in her cleaned cage, and took the kitten away.

It was neither traumatizing nor truly sad, but a moment of time stopping. I was amazed at the tiny little thing, and couldn't help but look at it. I felt sorry for the cat, but she seemed okay, and in some ways relieved, if I may personify this cat. This was my first experience with something like this, and it changed something in me, but I don't know what that is.